On a quiet Saturday afternoon, I meet SANDRA NAUDŽIŪNAITĖ - founder and director of the Lithuanian-speaking nursery SPINDULIUKAS in Barking. Early in her social work studies, she faced emotionally overwhelming experiences at day centers and orphanages - experiences that followed her into her dreams.

“When children run to you, asking to be taken home, your heart just breaks. You cry with them. I realized that if I stayed in this field, I’d have to give up too much of myself,” she recalls. “So, I switched paths and moved to London to study political science. But I made myself a promise—that one day, I would return to working with children. And as you can see, life has come full circle in a way I never expected.”

Emotional Needs Come First

While studying in England, Sandra supported herself by caring for school-aged children and assisting Lithuanians with business-related research. One day, a client asked her to explore the process of opening a nursery in the UK.

“When I presented the research, she decided it was too complex and gave up on the idea. But something clicked in me. I was already working with kids. Yes, it was a challenge - but it felt doable. I didn’t fully understand what I was getting into, but when you’re young and full of energy, you just go for it,” Sandra says.

She gained hands-on experience working in British nurseries, and shortly after graduation, she launched her own. Today, her nursery welcomes children aged two to four and has been running successfully for fifteen years.

When asked whether working with toddlers is difficult, Sandra pauses. “Yes and no. It’s difficult because I carry the responsibility of caring for each family’s most precious gift. It takes time to build trust with parents. But it’s also easy - because children at this age are so open, curious, and eager to learn. They really are the sweetest rays of sunshine.”

Small Wins, Big Impact

Sandra says the most rewarding moments come from watching children grow emotionally. “At this age, it’s all about emotional intelligence. Sharing, for example, is a big challenge - they don’t yet understand why they should. We work on that step by step. And then, one day, a child finally shares a toy. That moment is huge. It’s not just about the toy - it’s a sign of growth.”

While special events and crafts are a part of the nursery’s rhythm, Sandra says emotional safety always comes first.

“If a child is feeling anxious or just needs to talk - about why mom left, whether she’ll come back, if she still loves them, or why they have to share - you stop what you’re doing and give them your full attention,” she explains. “Sometimes, a child just needs to sit next to you and get a hug. That’s what builds trust and security. And when a child feels safe, they’re ready to learn and thrive.”

“A child’s emotional needs come first. They need to be seen, heard, and understood. That’s what truly matters - not what gets pinned to the board at the end of the day.”

Learning as a Way of Life

Sandra is not only a political science graduate but also holds an NVQ Level 3 qualification, which equips her with the necessary skills to work with children. During her studies, she thoroughly examined the British early years curriculum and completed an internship in France.

“Learning is part of my lifestyle,” she says. “I constantly attend professional development courses, lectures, and exhibitions. If I have questions, I reach out to local authority experts for advice on specific situations.”

When it comes to choosing a nursery, Sandra believes the most important factors are how the child feels during their first visit and how the staff communicate with parents: “Do they take time to answer questions? Do they work together with the family?”

Finding the right people to work with children is one of the biggest challenges. “Maybe my standards are too high,” Sandra admits. “But to me, an ideal teacher is calm, kind, sincere, creative, and truly wants to work with children. Nurseries are loud, full of energy, and emotionally intense - not everyone is cut out for that environment.”

Sometimes, she explains, a new team member seems enthusiastic at first, but after a month, the energy fades. They might not know how to support a child’s development or might shift their focus to tasks like tidying up, rather than engaging meaningfully with the children. “Even qualifications and experience aren’t always enough. Sensitivity to children’s needs, the ability to truly listen and respond - that’s often something you’re born with.”

She stresses the importance of taking every question or concern from a child seriously: “You can’t brush them off. One harsh or careless word, and the child may never come to you again. What seems like a small issue to us can feel like the end of the world to them.”

Another important requirement for her team is a good command of English, as all training courses are delivered in English.

“We’re always looking for people with the right heart and mindset - and the language skills to keep learning and growing with us.”

Sandra strongly encourages raising bilingual children. “Over a decade ago, a group of psychologists conducted a study with preschoolers and found that bilingual children completed tasks faster and more accurately. Later, neurologists, linguists, and psychologists confirmed through brain imaging that bilingual children have enhanced abilities - especially in math, which requires abstract thinking, planning, and focus.”

While national identity is essential, Sandra notes that not all parents see the value in the Lithuanian language, especially given its status as a “small” language. She disagrees: “Even if you ignore the cultural aspect, bilingualism improves long-term quality of life. Research shows that using multiple languages can delay the onset of dementia and Alzheimer’s by four to seven years.”

The Art of Teaching: Don’t Force - Inspire

“Parents often come to us in tears, saying that since starting an English nursery, their child speaks only English at home. Conscious parents want their children to speak Lithuanian also, to be able to talk with their grandparents,”Sandra shares.

So, how do we raise children to see both languages as something to value? Sandra offers a real-life example: “There’s a girl who has been with us for few years - she started in our nursery and now attends after-school sessions. She speaks both English and Lithuanian fluently. That’s because her mother made a conscious decision to put her in a Lithuanian educational environment. Once a child starts school, they spend most of their day immersed in English. Even if they speak Lithuanian at home, that alone isn’t enough to build vocabulary and confidence in the language. That’s why it’s so important to attend Lithuanian clubs after school or on weekends - to meet more Lithuanian-speaking friends and strengthen that connection.”

But Sandra warns against pressure: “If a child isn’t interested, you shouldn’t force it. That won’t bring the results you want. Lithuanian nurseries and schools need to be engaging and fun. An informal, flexible environment helps children develop more naturally. The real art of teaching isn’t to push - it’s to inspire.”

At Spinduliukas, they blend cultural identity with everyday joy. “We celebrate all Lithuanian and English holidays - cutting flags, singing folk songs. The kids love giving gifts at Christmas or dressing up for themed days.”

Physical Punishment – Absolutely Unacceptable

Is there such a thing as the “right” or “wrong” kind of love for a child? “Some parents try to control every aspect of their child’s life, doing everything for them. But that kind of love doesn’t help the child grow or become independent,” says Sandra. “And any form of violence - especially physical punishment - is completely unacceptable.”

She emphasizes that physical punishment teaches nothing useful. “It may cause fear, distrust, and lead children to lie. Studies show that kids don’t learn to change their behavior - they simply learn to avoid being punished. Long term, it can lead to anxiety, depression, skipping school, and even abusive behavior later in life.”

Parents Make Mistakes Too

Even the most loving parents are bound to make mistakes. Sandra identifies one of the most common: “Many parents follow the rule of 'Do as I say, not as I do.’ But children learn by observing. They mimic behavior, not words. That’s why it’s so important that what you say aligns with what you do.”

She adds that clear, age-appropriate, and consistent rules are essential. “There shouldn’t be too many, and once set, they must be respected. Conflicting messages - like one parent saying ‘yes’ and the other ‘no’ - confuse children. That can lead to manipulation, conflict, and tension at home. Parents need to find common ground and show unity in front of the child.”

Outdated Gender Roles and Emotional Development

After guiding several generations from nursery to school, Sandra has seen lingering stereotypes. “I hope the next generation won’t grow up hearing outdated ideas like ‘girls should stay clean and quiet,’ or ‘boys shouldn’t cry.’ Some parents still hold these views, but things are slowly changing.” At Spinduliukas, emotional awareness and respectful interaction form the foundation of their teaching approach.

“You have to talk to children - again and again. Even if it seems like they don’t understand, they’re listening. Explain why taking a toy or pushing a friend isn’t okay. Speak gently, at eye level, using simple language. Shouting doesn’t encourage thinking. It takes patience, but over time, children learn not just what’s right or wrong, but why.”

They also use positive discipline methods. “We have a ‘thinking chair’ where a child can sit quietly and reflect on their behavior. But it’s not a punishment - it’s about understanding. Positive reinforcement works much better. Praise good behavior. Acknowledge when they do something kind.”

The Power of Friendship and Patience

Each child has unique needs, and Sandra believes it’s vital to meet them with understanding. “It’s all about connection. We had a quiet, sensitive girl who spent three months doing nothing but painting. We didn’t force her to join other activities - we simply gave her fresh paper and talked to her about her art. Over time, she opened up, made friends, and became the heart of the nursery. You need to listen to what the child is drawn to. That’s how trust is built.”

Still, she notes it’s important to recognize when a child’s quietness signals something deeper. “Some kids are just reserved. Others may need help. We rush too much. We want our kids to be faster, smarter - outperform their peers. And we forget that every child has their own pace. For example, bilingual children often start speaking later, which worries parents. But sometimes all they need is time. Some doctors might even suggest dropping one language, but that can do more harm than good.”

She stresses the value of emotional intelligence and empathy. “You can only develop empathy before the age of seven. Raising a pet, for example, helps children shift their focus from self to others. When children fight, we spend time helping them understand how their actions affect others. That’s where growth happens.”

And perhaps most importantly: “We need to teach children that failure is okay. In a world where it feels like nothing is ever enough, they need to know it’s okay not to be the best. It’s okay to try and not succeed - what matters is the trying.”

Sandra shares a moment that sums it up perfectly: “One girl wanted to climb a rope ladder in the park but kept slipping. I didn’t lift her - I stood beside her and said, ‘Climb, I’m here. I’ll catch you if you fall. You can do it.’ And she did. The pride on her face said it all. That’s the kind of support children need: not doing it for them, but believing in them as they try.”

Lithuanian Business Link. This project is partially funded by the Lithuanian Media Support Fund.